The Question of Discipline vs. Abuse

National conversations have been coming at the American people in a dizzying fashion of late, all thanks to the National Football League. The professional sport that dominates the hearts and minds of a rabid fan base has been the talk of the nation for entirely unwanted reasons.

The subculture of domestic violence that is exists within the league is well documented. No reasonable person can defend it (though a few ex-jock talking heads have tried). Ray Rice's videotaped assault of his then-girlfriend was merely the tipping point of a decades-long crisis of credibility within the sport. Any national discussion of the issue has only cemented the consensus that domestic violence is abhorrent and criminal.

Not so with the case of Adrian Peterson.

Water cooler discussions at workplaces and around kitchen tables in homes have been diverse and lively: 

- Adrian Peterson is a child abuser. 

- Adrian Peterson has a right to discipline his child as he sees fit.

- Spanking is wrong.

- Spanking is okay.

- Parents are too permissive these days.

- My parents spanked me and I turned out okay.

- My parents never spanked me and I'm doing fine.

- Kids need more discipline these days.

- Parents need to talk with their kids more.

- Kids will respect their parents more if they are disciplined physically.

- Kids will fear their parents more if they are disciplined physically.

- Corporal punishment is still legal many places.

- Corporal punishment is a crime.

Unfortunately, this valuable and much needed national conversation is being had at a little boy's expense. Actually, too many children's expense But it is still valuable. Though hearts and minds will probably not undergo a wholesale change in the process, there is little doubt that millions of parents across the country are taking a personal inventory of their disciplinary habits and style. And if some aren't, they certainly should.

In the course of such widespread discussions, the heart of the matter is often clouded over by false and inapplicable arguments (cue the talking heads crowding far too many sports desks nationally). In my opinion, Adrian Peterson's behavior (or any parents') comes down to a simple question:

What's the difference between abuse and discipline?  

- Discipline is typically measured and thoughtful (including a swat on the butt)

- Abuse is an emotional reaction to an imagined or real problem.

- Discipline is consistent, understandable, and rational (including a swat on the butt).

- Abuse is unpredictable and irrational, more about the mind of the adult than the actions of the child.

- Discipline reinforces expectations for both parent and child (including a swat on the butt).

- Abuse instills and pours the cement of fear, which can harden into resentment and hatred.

- Discipline is applied with the understanding that love endures (including a swat on the butt).

- Abuse is applied with the silent understanding that a sickness lives within the abuser not the abused.

Nico Jacobellis, a manager of a movie theatre in Cleveland Heights, Ohio, had screened a French film called The Lovers. A local court deemed the film obscene and Mr. Jacobellis was fined $2,500. After a series of legal appeals, the case was heard before the Supreme Court of the United States in 1964. The Court cited that the film's content was "protected speech," and the lower court's ruling was overturned. Justice Potter Stewart, explaining why the material at issue was not obscene, put it very simply: though he admitted that he could not exactly define what obscenity was, he did say, "I know it when I see it."

The same standard applied by Justice Stewart 50 years ago equally applies to the definiton of child abuse today. This isn't a debate about spanking (70% of American parents say they have). This isn't a debate about corporal punishment. This isn't a debate about the differing cultural norms of discipline that exist regionally in the United States. The debate is about the definition of child abuse.

I don't know if Adrian Peterson is a serial child abuser. But, on one spring afternoon earlier this year, his behavior was abusive. According to photographic evidence, and his own testimony, his method of punishment was excessive. He repeatedly, systematically, broke open the flesh of a four year-old boy. Legal corporal punishment and differing cultural norms be damned.

Child abuse.

"I know it when I see it."