Binge-View This!

Hello, my name is Eric - Hi Eric - and I am a binge-viewer. I am a weak, weak man. But I resolve here and now that I will not spend the summer binge-viewing television shows. Twice through all 80 Battlestar Galactica episodes is plenty. I mean it this time. So Say We All. No, I won't pretend I don't know Walter White's fate again. Yes, Star Wars: The Clone Wars was just as good the second time around, but once more would be a path to the Dark Side, right? Repeat with me: My queue is empty. My queue is empty. My queue is empty. That's all I have to share this week. Thanks Eric.

I can imagine such a conversation taking place at a BVA (Binge-Viewing Anonymous) meeting in the basement of some local church. Adults circled up on ancient folding chairs, styrofoam cups full of lousy coffee, the Serenity Prayer half-heartedly recited. Very little eye contact is made among the addicts for the obvious reason that no one believes a word anyone else is saying. Try not binge-viewing this summer? Give me a break. As expected, donations are light - the automatic monthly Netflix subscription fee deduction is right around the corner. Hey, priorities.

Damn this Golden Age of Television.

Quality programming on the (not so small) small screen has never been better. Netflix, Hulu Plus, and On Demand services have positioned themselves to take advantage of Americans' unquenchable thirst for great writing, acting, and serialized storytelling. Such shows are being called Prestige Television, and for good reason. While special-effects laden movies still draw customers, no one attends their local cineplex expecting consistently sharp dialogue and character development. In those departments, television is the undisputed champ.

Of course, discriminating viewers know all about Breaking Bad, Dexter, 24, Battlestar Galactica, Mad Men, The Walking Dead, the many incarnations of Star Trek, et cetera that have seeped deep into the popular culture. This guide, however, is full of B-sides/deep cuts - programs so surprisingly enjoyable that why they aren't more popular is simply due to the high volume of high quality shows, not to mention the restrictions that come with family, work, and the real world.

1. Orange is the New Black - Not exactly a secret anymore, OITNB - about the many lives and backstories of the female inmates of Litchfield Federal Penitentiary - is really an expose' of the corruption, abuse, and mismanagement of the American prison system. Raw and real.

2. House of Cards - Francis Underwood - so completely slimy and political, but easily one of the most watchable characters on television since Tony Soprano. The direct address popularized by Matthew Broderick's Ferris Bueller has been perfected by Kevin Spacey. Everytime he drawls maliciously at the camera, viewers smile inwardly despite themselves. A secret no longer, HOC might just be the best show TV has to offer.

3. The Killing - I would stack the first two seasons of this AMC gem against anything on TV in the last five years. Dark, brooding, and layered, a murder investigation unfolds in the always-damp city of Seattle. Based on a Danish series, The Killing was tailor-made for binge-viewers.

4. Luther - This BBC import stars Idris Elba as a deeply flawed, but equally brilliant cop who consistently gets in his own way. With only 4 episodes per season - Luther can be gulped down in a matter of days.

5. Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries - Revolving around the personal and professional life of Phryne Fisher, a glamorous and thoroughly modern private detective in 1920s Melbourne - MFMM is heavy on period costumes and set design while maintaining clever and complex storylines. I received a tip about this unknown Aussie show from an NPR podcast of all places (actually I am also currently addicted to podcasts - Hello, my name is Eric . . . ).

6. The Fall - Renewed for a second season by the BBC, Gillian Anderson (The X-Files) stars as a Northern Ireland police detective on the trail of a serial killer. Having lived much of the last decade in Europe, Anderson believably pulls off an Irish accent. This is not your mother's asexual Agent Scully. Not even close.

7. Parts Unknown with Anthony Bourdain - I do not watch cooking shows. In fact, I avoid them like I dodged liver as a kid (sorry, Mom - it was disgusting). This CNN travelogue, however, has a refreshing mix of foreign food, culture, and politics - starring Anthony Bourdain (whoever he is) who still can't seem to believe his incredibly good luck at landing such a fun gig. Visually stunning, it could ease up a little on its reliance of the slow motion shot - but still the best mash-up of National Geographic and Julia Child on TV.

8. Firefly - This short-lived sci-fi series has been dead and buried for over a decade, but simply refuses to go quietly. Bolstered by a diehard fan following not seen since a write-in campaign saved Star Trek way back in 1967, Firefly is more popular than it ever was when it aired way back in 2002-03. Fresh and inventive, combining the best elements of the Western and Sci-Fi genres, I wailed and moaned when I discovered there were only 14 episodes in its run. Fortunately, Joss Whedon's creation "aimed to misbehave" again in a concluding movie, Serenity (also available for streaming on Netflix).

9. Derek - Ricky Gervais is not everyone's British cup of tea. In fact, I avoided him before I stumbled upon his latest mockumentary. The Office creator portrays the lead character Derek, a socially awkward and possibly mentally handicapped adult who works in a nursing home. Avoiding the temptation to lampoon the elderly who populate every scene, Derek instead displays a tenderness, humor, and poignancy that makes the show a complete original.

There you have it - The Cheap Seats Guide to Summer Binge-Viewing. Hours and hours of television lie ahead - followed by remorse, self-loathing, and working the Twelve Steps. Think I better give my sponsor a call. I'm getting thirsty.