What is Middle-Aged?
In case you’re keeping track (and I hope you’re not), I have referred to myself as middle-aged at least once in each of the first five posts to The Cheap Seats blog, not to mention the tagline, Musings of a Middle-aged Man. Without realizing this, I have apparently struck a nerve with some readers out there (“Bergy, I’ve got a bone to pick with you!”) whose age and mine are in the same ballpark. So naturally, I had to make it this week’s post topic – what is middle-aged anyway?
But first let me back up and explain my reasons for referring to myself as middle-aged.
Obviously, by the numbers, I am middle-aged. In fact, 45 is on the downside of the current life expectancy for the average American male at birth (75.6), or female (81) for that matter. Even by mid-century, the life expectancy for all Americans is estimated to rise only another 5-10 years. Regardless, thankfully this isn’t 1900. According to all reliable census data, at birth the average American man and woman could expect to live to the ripe old age of 48 and 51.
Secondly, I believe my life experiences are very similar to most people who are around my age. Many are parents, some have had family additions and losses and still others have faced their own health issues. Along the way we have picked up a bit of wisdom and perspective that has allowed us to better see the “Big Picture” that can only be seen from the “Cheap Seats." We are in that middle ground where we can look back on much, but we also know just as much is still ahead of us. Middle-aged.
However, middle-aged means many things to many people. My friend who playfully had a bone to pick with me said that whatever middle-aged was, she was certainly not it. In her opinion, middle-aged was not a particular number, but the point a person reaches in life right before retirement. “My parents are middle-aged”, she said, “I am not.”
And it was another friend who first pointed out to me the many middle-aged references I have made. Her argument was that nothing about me seemed middle-aged. She said I didn’t act middle-aged, (that’s true – I’m fairly immature), or look middle-aged, (all gray hairs, facial wrinkles, dual receding hairlines, diminishing eyesight and rapid eyebrow growth to the contrary).
But first let me back up and explain my reasons for referring to myself as middle-aged.
Obviously, by the numbers, I am middle-aged. In fact, 45 is on the downside of the current life expectancy for the average American male at birth (75.6), or female (81) for that matter. Even by mid-century, the life expectancy for all Americans is estimated to rise only another 5-10 years. Regardless, thankfully this isn’t 1900. According to all reliable census data, at birth the average American man and woman could expect to live to the ripe old age of 48 and 51.
Secondly, I believe my life experiences are very similar to most people who are around my age. Many are parents, some have had family additions and losses and still others have faced their own health issues. Along the way we have picked up a bit of wisdom and perspective that has allowed us to better see the “Big Picture” that can only be seen from the “Cheap Seats." We are in that middle ground where we can look back on much, but we also know just as much is still ahead of us. Middle-aged.
However, middle-aged means many things to many people. My friend who playfully had a bone to pick with me said that whatever middle-aged was, she was certainly not it. In her opinion, middle-aged was not a particular number, but the point a person reaches in life right before retirement. “My parents are middle-aged”, she said, “I am not.”
And it was another friend who first pointed out to me the many middle-aged references I have made. Her argument was that nothing about me seemed middle-aged. She said I didn’t act middle-aged, (that’s true – I’m fairly immature), or look middle-aged, (all gray hairs, facial wrinkles, dual receding hairlines, diminishing eyesight and rapid eyebrow growth to the contrary).
Okay – so then just what is middle-aged anyway?
1. Middle-aged can be defined exactly – a range of numbers in mid-life, like 40-55.
2. Middle-aged can be a state of body – we are only as old as we physically feel – which means how we feel can change from morning to night.
3. Middle-aged can be a state of mind – we are only as old as we act – which means some days we are children, while other days we are grandparents.
4. Middle-aged, like my friend said, can mean retirement. In that case, many of us are just teenagers.
5. And middle-aged is an attitude, defined by one’s outlook of life, which can change from time to time and experience to experience.
My favorite story about aging came from a 90 year-old woman I once knew. Years ago at a family gathering, she was quietly sitting at the dining room table listening to much younger adults complain about the woes of growing older. At a suitable pause she spoke. “You young people,” she began, “have nothing to complain about. You all know me. And you know there is nothing I haven’t seen or been through – good, bad and awful. But I’ll tell you this – I still feel like that 18 year-old girl who used to stare back at me in the mirror. There is still not a day that I don’t look forward to – I'm just trapped in this 90 year-old body.” Clearly, she was NEVER middle-aged.
1. Middle-aged can be defined exactly – a range of numbers in mid-life, like 40-55.
2. Middle-aged can be a state of body – we are only as old as we physically feel – which means how we feel can change from morning to night.
3. Middle-aged can be a state of mind – we are only as old as we act – which means some days we are children, while other days we are grandparents.
4. Middle-aged, like my friend said, can mean retirement. In that case, many of us are just teenagers.
5. And middle-aged is an attitude, defined by one’s outlook of life, which can change from time to time and experience to experience.
My favorite story about aging came from a 90 year-old woman I once knew. Years ago at a family gathering, she was quietly sitting at the dining room table listening to much younger adults complain about the woes of growing older. At a suitable pause she spoke. “You young people,” she began, “have nothing to complain about. You all know me. And you know there is nothing I haven’t seen or been through – good, bad and awful. But I’ll tell you this – I still feel like that 18 year-old girl who used to stare back at me in the mirror. There is still not a day that I don’t look forward to – I'm just trapped in this 90 year-old body.” Clearly, she was NEVER middle-aged.
These 25 uses of the phrase middle-aged might be my last. Whatever middle-aged is, I’ve decided, I am not it.
So, what do you think middle-aged is?
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ReplyDeleteI, like you, have decided middle age is a idiom I want use... it seems negative and as we both agreed on one of your earlier posts, we want to laugh more... thinking of middle age won't make me get to that goal with any expedience.
ReplyDeleteAgree - the more I think about it, Middle-aged is a dead word, like "got". It has about as much usefulness as the term ""Middle East". Middle Easterners don't refer to themselves as Middle Eastern, so why should we?
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